Emptyness(Please Rate)

[xCasperx]

Emptyness

confused
by these feelings
trying to make something out of nothing
weither to open up to her or to
shut down, this i'am not sure
feeling she does catre for me
afraid of being hurt, that
i'am not free
for me to tell her my every wish even dream
not to live in sarrow, for my
heart to believe
to fall into love, not caring how or why
my brain racing, but leaving my
heart to decide
to take a chance, yet still to be careful
having my share of heartbreaks,
more that a heartfull
willing, but thinking i'am ready
stable, but rocking, not sure if i'am
steady

hoping that my heart chooses right
not to be left through out these lonley
nights
for i'am human, I to yearing to be loved
striving to connect, like a socket and
plug
wating to give all of me, but tending not
for her to have, but somehow I get
dropped
but not to know pain, joy not feeling as great
getting hurt, feeling as if you were
a mistake
getting love in return, as if you can touch the sky
floating amongst the clouds,
as if you were to fly
to choose between two people, niether of them to hurt
to choose
one, but then the other to dissert
maybe its best if i'am left to be alone
to share my
problems with me, on my own
rather inflict hurt on me than others
to find someone to
connect with, someone to discover
someone I can love, always can talk to
someone
comes to mind, but thinking we're through
wishing that we could have lasted
forever
now just a memory that i will always remember
but I guess I need to move
on
for I think she is forever gone
but being hurt like it did
losing my heart, not sure
how or when
trying to overcome, but it is so hard
drawing the cards, and taking my
heart
just to be by myself for now
to be a king, without a crown
a rose with no
torn
incomplete and torn
just me, myself, and I
for I will kiss myself goodnight

[xCasperx]

Someone could you please rate
this for me.

[luvBONE12]

i liked it. i could relate to several parts of it. perhaps maybe you
could have developed it more as far as adding some more descriptions, but the emotion was
there, which is wut's important for poetry. it was great. 8)

[ladybonethugs]

LOVE the IT!!! Tight
real deep!!! Keep doing your thing Keep it Thuggish Ruggish!!! Holla at ya gurl!!!

-Harmony

[luvBONE12]

i was not at all trying to say i did not appriciate your veiws on
my poem. I was just asking if you wrote, and what did you mean by more descriptions. Thats all
that i was implying not to judge your rating of my poem. Sorry if it sounded that way not
intentional. You do make a good point about the rose with no thorn, yet a rose with no thorn
would be incomplete, all of it is not there. To some people might "think" of it as a good thing,
yet it still lacks a part of itself. Write
back.


do forgive me for takin
your previous response the wrong way and your point about the rose with no thorn doesn
indeed make sense now. i'd really like to read more of your work. 8)

[xCasperx]

thanks for your guys
input, i really appreciate it. Its ok luvBone12, glade you understand it now. I will post some
more of my stuff tomorrow the 9th. O and princessbone i liked your poem, write some more and
hit me back.