Self-Confidence

[RRJ]

A lil
info from me to u, which can be used in all instances of life...


Emphasize Strengths.
Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing on what you can do, you applaud
yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing end products. Starting from a base of what you
should do helps you live within the bounds of your inevitable limitations.

Take Risks.
Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to win or lose.
Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of self-acceptance.
Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits personal growth.


Use Self-Talk. Use self-talk as an opportunity to counter harmful assumptions. Then,
tell yourself to stop and substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch
yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that you can't do everything perfectly, that it's
only possible to try to do things and to try to do them well. This allows you to accept yourself
while still striving to improve.

Self-Evaluate. Learn to evaluate yourself independently.
Doing so allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively
on the opinions of others. Focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work,
etc. will give you a stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power
away to others.

Bottom Line: Be less concerned with what other's think of you and
more concerned with how you think and value yourself.


try 'creating' an
'alter-ego' : I dont mean pretending to be someone you are not, but create a 'confident
YOU', a side of your character you delve into as soon as you step out on to the street. Walk
straight, work-out, take up martial arts for instance, practice looking people straight into the eye
(this takes some time before you feel comfortable doing it, but it will take your confidence
through the roof), people respect you when you do so.
The so called 'cool' guys are just
as insecure as the rest of 'em, remember that the true mesure of self-confidence is when the
situation gets TOUGH. The ones who handle difficult situations with common sense and
composure are the real confident ones, it's easy to appear 'cool' or 'confident' when
you're an A-list movie star and haven't a care about money or who your gonna date, but the
average Joe who can take the hard things in life is one I look up to.
TELL YOURSELF
YOU ARE THEE MAH'FUCCEN MAN, AND PROVE IT TO YOURSELF NEXT TIME THE
GOING GETS TOUGH

[The Great One]

Good stuff here. Everyone
should read that :)

[SexiMexi]

Smart words from a smart
man...good job TSAR you are "THEE MAH'FUCCEN MAN"...oh yeah:D

[SexiMexi]

Yup that was great...I'm so
proud of you baby! Your such a smart person, thanks for that lil bit of insight. Love you! oh
yeah;)

[scrilla21]

that was great dawg!!! I'll read
that ever day for now on. Just as a reminder!!!!

[Double-Cuffs]

I think thats the most positive
post on this board nice to go keep it up!

[SexiMexi]

Exactly, you need to learn to love
and accept yourself before others can love and accept you.

[Darkchild]

I really don't care at all about
what other people think of me ... but i have no self-confidence at all

Good post, but i
wish it was that easy :(

[SexiMexi]

If you dont care bout what others
think of you how can you not be confident in yourself? Are you happy with who you are?

[Darkchild]

I am happy with who i am now,
unhappy with who i used to be ... im just very shy, but i know i am a good person.

I jus
like to keep to myself, u know how in clubs jus about every1 is dancing, then there's a few
ppl jus sittin down havin a few drinks n jus talking? Well, i'm the kinda person that sits down
... unless i been drinking for about 8 hours :) plus wat i have been thru has lead me to not
place trust in people very easily ... thats why i dont like picking up chicks i don't know and
why i don't assosciate with people other than my good friends

[crucial9900]

good post man, good tips for
everyone to use even the people who say they dont need no help

[trustinme]

I used alchohol to get confidence
and to get more social. When i was 12 i got very shy and unsure,it became so bad that
sometimes i didnt want to go outside of my home,i couldnt have a decent conversation with
people. I got so nervous when people started talking to me,I felt like the whole world was
watching me. I stutterd and i started to sweat and shake. From this point i started to create my
own world,with my own perspectives and my own ideas. I started to philosophize and i got
depressive,ive had a wonderful life,ive got a nice family,a couple of good friends but ive never
been happy with myself. It got me to a point were i started to mutilate myself,i never wanted to
kill myself,i believe its very weak,its as worse as homicide. When people get inside my world i
get very agressive and i try to keep them distant,one time there was someone in my life who
managed to get inside my world but she lied to me. It was the only time in my life i really felt
happy inside and confident of myself,she made my problem worse by saying she loved me and
not meaning it. There is one thing i gotta thank her for,she made me immune for love. Im very
cold inside,every day is a pain for me,seeing people changing every second,when a word
comes out of a mouth it allready has no more meaning to it. I also am very agressive and highly
sensitive,if people laugh at me for something small or they make fun of me,i am seriously
capable of killing them and spitting on them without respect just like they disrespected
me,especially people in groups. I got into a few fights with groups several times, when i was 14
i fought with people who were 24, i aint scared of physical pain anymore. I broke my hand one
time when i punched a stone wall,this is how agressive i can get. My idea of life is that people
are just like insects,im very scared of myself sometimes,i dont like these ideas i have,they are
very depressing.The only thing that keeps me happy is listening music,fantesizing,drinking
alcohol,sleeping eating,keeping my body in shape and the most of all is having the idea that
eventually there is someone whos gonna love me,that keeps me alive and strong till the better
days.

well thats my life,maybe someone can relate to it,just tell me,ill be glad to hear
it(yeah tsar what you just said really works,but you gotta know how to use it)

much
love

[scrilla21]

That some tru shity thurr^^^^
I've had some of those feelin', not all jus a few. keep yo head uo dawg!!!!

[KrayzieRico]

good shit

[Psychosis]

A lil info from me to u, which can be used in all instances of
life...


Emphasize Strengths. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing
on what you can do, you applaud yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing end products.
Starting from a base of what you should do helps you live within the bounds of your inevitable
limitations.

Take Risks. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather
than occasions to win or lose. Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase
your sense of self-acceptance. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for
failure, and inhibits personal growth.

Use Self-Talk. Use self-talk as an opportunity to
counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to stop and substitute more reasonable
assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that
you can't do everything perfectly, that it's only possible to try to do things and to try to do
them well. This allows you to accept yourself while still striving to improve.


Self-Evaluate. Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid
the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others.
Focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work, etc. will give you a
stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others.


Bottom Line: Be less concerned with what other's think of you and more concerned
with how you think and value yourself.


try 'creating' an 'alter-ego' : I dont mean
pretending to be someone you are not, but create a 'confident YOU', a side of your
character you delve into as soon as you step out on to the street. Walk straight, work-out, take
up martial arts for instance, practice looking people straight into the eye (this takes some time
before you feel comfortable doing it, but it will take your confidence through the roof), people
respect you when you do so.
The so called 'cool' guys are just as insecure as the rest of
'em, remember that the true mesure of self-confidence is when the situation gets TOUGH.
The ones who handle difficult situations with common sense and composure are the real
confident ones, it's easy to appear 'cool' or 'confident' when you're an A-list movie star
and haven't a care about money or who your gonna date, but the average Joe who can take
the hard things in life is one I look up to.
TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE THEE
MAH'FUCCEN MAN, AND PROVE IT TO YOURSELF NEXT TIME THE GOING GETS
TOUGH

5555555555 Thanx For The Info

[aowzone]

excellent excellent post........i can
attest that much of that stuff is true.....especially looking someone hard in the eyes

[xCasperx]

I used alchohol to get confidence and to get more social.
When i was 12 i got very shy and unsure,it became so bad that sometimes i didnt want to go
outside of my home,i couldnt have a decent conversation with people. I got so nervous when
people started talking to me,I felt like the whole world was watching me. I stutterd and i started
to sweat and shake. From this point i started to create my own world,with my own perspectives
and my own ideas. I started to philosophize and i got depressive,ive had a wonderful life,ive
got a nice family,a couple of good friends but ive never been happy with myself. It got me to a
point were i started to mutilate myself,i never wanted to kill myself,i believe its very weak,its as
worse as homicide. When people get inside my world i get very agressive and i try to keep
them distant,one time there was someone in my life who managed to get inside my world but
she lied to me. It was the only time in my life i really felt happy inside and confident of
myself,she made my problem worse by saying she loved me and not meaning it. There is one
thing i gotta thank her for,she made me immune for love. Im very cold inside,every day is a pain
for me,seeing people changing every second,when a word comes out of a mouth it allready
has no more meaning to it. I also am very agressive and highly sensitive,if people laugh at me
for something small or they make fun of me,i am seriously capable of killing them and spitting on
them without respect just like they disrespected me,especially people in groups. I got into a few
fights with groups several times, when i was 14 i fought with people who were 24, i aint scared
of physical pain anymore. I broke my hand one time when i punched a stone wall,this is how
agressive i can get. My idea of life is that people are just like insects,im very scared of myself
sometimes,i dont like these ideas i have,they are very depressing.The only thing that keeps me
happy is listening music,fantesizing,drinking alcohol,sleeping eating,keeping my body in shape
and the most of all is having the idea that eventually there is someone whos gonna love
me,that keeps me alive and strong till the better days.

well thats my life,maybe someone
can relate to it,just tell me,ill be glad to hear it(yeah tsar what you just said really works,but you
gotta know how to use it)

much love Well i can not relate to what
you have or are going through BUT one of my best friends since 2nd grade sounds like he has
the same thing you are dealing with. It sounded like he was writting it, like you were him(if that
makes any sence to you)i feel for you on this man. I try and get my friend out of the house
include him in what i do, but it seems that all he wants to do is sit at home and either on the
computer or play video games. Ever once and awhile he will come out maybe go to the beach
with me and some friends. Now that you say something like when i poke fun at him in all good
humar he does tend to take it to heart, so i try not to do it. I just wish there was something i
could do to help he. He also does not have very much luck with women he has had like 1 or 2
girlfriends that i know of, but if you have any info on what i could do or say or something drop
me a note, because i desperatly want to know!Thanks--WM--

[xCasperx]

wtf does that have to
do with anything?

[nystagmus]

good post. Its like cognitive therapy.

[James Braddock]

bump

[seeking]

good thread

[KrayzieTillIDie]

Old but cool.