Sex

[Gravity]

Froozle sent me a link a while ago (I think from yahoo) about the increase of STDs among teens.

It stated that because there are more teens trying to abstain from sex till married, they're doing other things. More teens seem to be participating more in oral and anal sex. And in the end (*blink*), they're contracting STDs at a higher rate.

Obviously there is a lack of protection still. But on the other hand we have some schools trying to get students interested in trying.... other things to keep them from going all the way.

Staying away from sexual contact altogether is of course the only fool proof method. But we know that's not going to happen.

Any thoughts?

[RX King]

Does this mean I have to say everything again or can I just post the convo lol

[Gravity]

YOU CANNOT POST THE CONVO! >:O

[Suspect]

Sex is the best..

fuck all the bullshit..

wear a condom..it'll keep you dick from falling off

[RX King]

The News Article I read, or one of them anyways.


NEW HAVEN, Connecticut (AP) -- Teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are more likely to take chances with other kinds of sex that increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, a study of 12,000 adolescents suggests.

The report by Yale and Columbia University researchers could help explain their earlier findings that teens who pledged abstinence are just as likely to have STDs as their peers.

The latest study, published in the April issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, found that teens pledging virginity until marriage are more likely to have oral and anal sex than other teens who have not had intercourse. That behavior, however, "puts you at risk," said Hannah Brueckner, assistant professor of sociology at Yale and one of the study's authors.

Among virgins, boys who have pledged abstinence were four times more likely to have had anal sex than teens who have remained abstinent but not as part of a pledge, according to the study. Overall, pledgers were six times more likely to have oral sex.

The pledging group was also less likely to use condoms during their first sexual experience or get tested for STDs, the researchers found.

Data for the study was taken from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. An in-school questionnaire was given to a nationally representative sample of students in grades 7-12 and followed up with a series of in-home interviews roughly one, two, and six years later. It was funded in part by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, called the study "bogus," disputing that those involved had pledged true "abstinence."

"Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has 'sex' in it is considered a sexual activity," Unruh said. "Therefore oral sex is sex, and they are staying away."

Millions of teens have signed written pledges or verbally promised to abstain from sex, part of a church-led effort to discourage premarital sex and the spread of disease. President Bush has boosted funding for abstinence-only education in schools.

Critics say that education needs to be coupled with safe-sex education to be effective.

"If adolescents only had sex in monogamous, married relationships, by definition there would be no STDs," Brueckner said, echoing President Bush's remarks in last year's State of the Union address. "But the majority of adolescents don't live like that. They do have sex."

Last year, the same research team found that 88 percent of teens who pledge abstinence end up having sex before marriage, compared with 99 percent of teens who do not make a pledge.

YOU CANNOT POST THE CONVO! >:O

Aww Why Not :P

See me, I don't understand it one bit, It's not total or true abstinence. ANY sexual act is just that a sexual act so where these peoples logic comes from doesn't make any sense at all. If your going to wait until marriage then fucking do it, it's that simple. I personally feel that the whole teen abstinence thing is a trend, sad to say but thats how I feel. A trend or religous and parental fear like " Oh it's not sex unless it's vaginal intercourse" type shit, which isn't true. The whole thing doesn't make any sense to me. They are more likely to not use condoms? Why? cus they don't run the risk of a pregnancy? Dying of AIDS is alot worse then having a baby I'll tell you that much.

Kids are going to have sex, It's going to happen, I don't understand how these kids are fooling themsleves into thinking they're not having sex. I'm tired so I'll shuttup now.

[Suspect]

I'll fuck a little virgin in her ass..

then let it slip in the pussy

and tell her its womens fault cuzz that bitch eve had to eat that apple ..

Im glad though..if even woulda never did that..then sex wouldnt feel so good

[Gravity]

I think some of it comes from school though. Some adults are trying to get kids to do other things... so they don't get pregnant. So they don't run the risk of different things. And like you said, froozle, they seem to be thinking that... it's not sex so they don't need protection.

It really is insane. And it just might be a trend. But I think they need to be teaching that protection needs to be used with all sexual acts... not just vaginal intercourse. But with so much sex on tv... there's no telling how long this trend is going to last.

[RX King]

They're just dumbasses, thats all they are. Stupid little children that are following blindly. I hope someone leads them over the edge of a cliff.

[Mafioso]

kids are stoopid

[Prince Cory]

They should sell condoms 4 cheaper

[Suspect]

HELL YEA

CONDOMS HERE COST LIKE 7 BUCKS FOR 3

[maryjane*29]

They should sell condoms 4 cheaper

dont they give it to students at school for free, also at f.p.a.

[Gambinos Wrath]

Suspect, STFU your close to getting a warning, stop being a dumbass, me, I think that if u wanna do it do it, BUT, I wish now that I had waited till marriage before I lost my virginity, that I had saved that for someone special, but hell, when I lost it, I was so young, I didnt even know what I was doing

[Suspect]

Suspect, STFU your close to getting a warning, stop being a dumbass, me, I think that if u wanna do it do it, BUT, I wish now that I had waited till marriage before I lost my virginity, that I had saved that for someone special, but hell, when I lost it, I was so young, I didnt even know what I was doing

FUCK A WARNING :)

naw..

but thats coo if you wanted to wait till marriage..me personally..Im glad i lost it when i lost it..

well..i aint trippin..because i lost it to my first love..and she lost it to me..

we where real young though..we where 14..

[élan]

This is exactly why schools need to be teaching real sex education, as opposed to the "abstinence is the only option" sort of thing.

A lot of teens don't understand that oral sex and anal sex come with most of the same (and some additional) risks as vaginal sex.

They also don't know about proper protection. Sure, they may be using condoms. But are they wearing 2? Are they using an oil-based lubricant instead of water-based? The answer should be NO to both, but I personally have heard teens talking about doing both. This stuff seems like common sense to most of us, but to kids just exploring sex, it's really not.

I'm all about educating teens to know the real risks, and how they can stay safe.

[~~Nikki~~]

i dont think it has anything to do with schools....i think it has to do with parents needing to be parents....! Parents need to be open to their teens about things....everything including all different kinds of sex. I dont think its schools jobs to teacha bout this, i think it comes down to parents....

[élan]

^True, but we all know there are going to be plenty of parents that aren't going to talk to their kids about sex, no matter how much they are pushed. And I know for a fact if my parents had tried talking to me about sex, I would have laughed and walked off.

I think schools play a big part in giving ALL kids education about such an important subject.

[~~Nikki~~]

I dont think schools play a big part in it...because with the united states laws they are only alloud to cover certain issues...parents can cover ALL the issues...it starts in the home no matter how you look at it.

[Gravity]

I'm going to agree with just about everything that was said here. My mom DID try to talk to me about sex. LOL... a loooot of times. And that was the most uncomfortable thing. I didn't want to have the conversations at aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall. I think I was about 8 or 9 the first time she tried to talk to me about sex. And even though some say that's too young... a lot of children are surprisingly losing their virginity young. When I was in 6th grade we took sex education. And... lol... out teacher made a question box for people to ask all of the questions that they were too embarrassed to say out loud.

Some parents don't want their kids to take sex ed. They think that if they do, lol... then they'll be more likely to do it. Most people don't even think about how much sex their is on tv. And those that monitor what their children and teens watch.... still don't realize the risks. You said "you can't date till you're 17". How do you know they don't have some little "friend" that's trying to get them to try dirty things? And if that's the case and your child doesn't know about protection... then you might have a problem on your hands.

I think it should be in the schools. I think schools should have better sex education programs. YES... they should tell children to wait, but they should also talk about diseases and pregnancy more than they seem to do. In addition to that, they should STRESS to the parents the need to have sex education in school. If they don't make it manditory.

As far as schools passing out free condoms.... lol.... I never saw ANYONE take condoms from the nurse's office when I was in school. It is good that they offer them for free, but I think they also need to lower the price of condoms as someone suggested. I think that might be a good way to encourage use. Aside from nurses offices there are free clinics that give condoms away, but again... many young people are too embarrassed to buy them.

I didn't lose my virginity till I was 18 and I was STILL embarassed about such things. lol.... I remember my bestfriend brought me a whole bag of condoms from her school. LOL .... heck till I had children... I would only pay for my feminine hygiene products in the pharmacy section. Even with my SECOND child I had to go to the pharmacy section to pay for my pregnancy test. LOL... it's not even about embarassment. It's I guess feeling that somethings are very personal. I mean... I don't have a problem with talking about sex.... LOL... I just don't like a stranger knowing I'm about to have it. LOL... I mean when that warming KY came out it made me say "hmmm". There's no way in the world I'd buy that even in the pharmacy. LOL... I guess I don't want anyone wondering about my sexual habits.

Someone else might say... they have adult stores that sell all kinds of interesting things. Just try to get me in one of those. I was out with some friends and they wanted to go into this adult book story (guys of course). I'm cool... no problem. I mean I've been to strip clubs before... nothing can embarass me right? WRONG! Let's just say they had a lot more than books and I spent the majority of that time hanging out in the front waiting for them. I have a friend that's still a virgin. LOL... and one of her friends wanted a vibrator for her b-day. She actually went and bought it for her. Dude... I'd have to be intoxicated.

[K.Battlezone]

The thing is there's no easy way to do it. True that its parents fault , my parents never told me about shit I had to figure it out on my own. But now let's go back into school. Give me an easy way to talk about sex to begin with. How to properly take care of yourself. AND THEN.. proceed into talking about anal sex and oral sex. Come on now that's just wrong for teachers to be talking about that. If anything they should just be saying NO SEX AT ALL ABSTINANCE RULES ALL.

[Gravity]

OH yeah.... I had a point. :P My point was that there are some aspects of sex that are very uncomfortable to confront, address, or what have you for people of all ages. We have tv shows and movies that show the "pretty" side of sex, but nothing that really shows the not so pretty side. Some would argue that our society is very open about sex, in fact too open. But IMO, it's not as open as it needs to be, on issues that it needs to be open about. (especially not with our children) Some people walk around with the idea "I'm going to teach my children to wait till marriage, and that way I can avoid really talking about sex." It usually doesn't work that way. Religious reasons aside... people need to understand that we're living in a non-religious world. Where the morals of the churches are NOT the morals of society. And this is what our children are being raised in. Just because they go to church, and sing in the choir, go to private schools.... all that means is that they just might have the money to get an abortion if they get pregnant instead of being a teenaged mom. Some of the kids that have the "best" up brings turn out to be the "baddest".

So yeah.... parents need sex education just as much as the children do.

[Gravity]

The thing is there's no easy way to do it. True that its parents fault , my parents never told me about shit I had to figure it out on my own. But now let's go back into school. Give me an easy way to talk about sex to begin with. How to properly take care of yourself. AND THEN.. proceed into talking about anal sex and oral sex. Come on now that's just wrong for teachers to be talking about that. If anything they should just be saying NO SEX AT ALL ABSTINANCE RULES ALL.

I don't think schools should be telling kids how to do it. LOL... but I do think schools should stress.... if you have oral sex you can still contract an STD. If you have anal sex you can still contract an STD. Parents have to give permission for their children to take sex ed in the first place. I mean... sure.... oral... and especially anal sex are FAR from kosher. Especially to talk about to children. I'm sure there is away to delicately word things, and still send the message that... just because it's not vaginal doesn't mean that you can't contract or spread a virus. We didn't conver such things other than one person asking in the question box "can you get pregnant from swallowing sperm".

But I agree those are very... lol... odd subjects to touch on. But look at the problems we're having. Our children aren't educated, our parents are afraid to teach them. Parents can opt out of sex ed. I say we need better programs in the schools. And better info for the parents.

[K.Battlezone]

Even if you did find a way to say these things they're gonna wonder.. oh shit there's more to it than just sticking a penis to a vagina.. there's more than one way to do it and that triggers something in their minds and curiosity sets in and well the rest is history. What we should do is scare the shit out of em and tell em their dicks will burn when they touch the vagina with it and vice versa.

[Suspect]

I learned about sex by my self..just being around as a little youngsta

i knew it as HUMP though..

[Gravity]

Even if you did find a way to say these things they're gonna wonder.. oh shit there's more to it than just sticking a penis to a vagina.. there's more than one way to do it and that triggers something in their minds and curiosity sets in and well the rest is history. What we should do is scare the shit out of em and tell em their dicks will burn when they touch the vagina with it and vice versa.

LOL... reminds me of what my grandfather told my mom. LOL... all he told her was "If you get pregnant, I'm sending you away." And see... my grandmother had another child when they got married. LOL... so he told her... "I'll raise her as my own, but if she gets pregnant she's on her own." And guess what. :P My moms sister ended up getting pregnant (when she was 16 I think and he sent her away to chicago. LOL... that was more than enough for my mom to keep her legs closed.

Maybe in some way we do need to use fear. LOL... without like... lol... I don't know passing around old wives tales or something.

[RX King]

Theres nothing wrong with kids like 14 and up having sex, they will do it whether their parents know about it or not. I will straight up tell any and all of my kids, have sex, but be smart with it, you get pregnant or get someone pregnant you're on your own, You can live in my house but I'm not paying for shit and I'm not watching your kid 6 outta the 7 days of the week. I'm not buying your medicines if you get some STD, You fuck up and you're on your own. Maybe thats harsh but sometimes you have to be harsh with kids for them to get it. It's not the school or the parents responsibility to watch over the kid 24/7, the kids need to learn and become self aware about sex and its dangers. If you read enough or talk to someone with AIDS enough you won't ever want to have sex again. But then again you have some kids who HAVE to learn the hard way, and think they're invincible.

[Gravity]

But most everyone thinks nothing bad can happen to them. Even though we're afraid of some things... the reality of certain situations never sinks in. Like... drunk driving. I listened to what my mom said about it when I was little. But then one time she mentioned something about my dad. Asked me if he had been drinking. I told her yeah, and she told me not to even get in the car with my own father if he had been drinking. And I was thinking wth... lol... I'm a little kid... how am I supposed to say "look old man... you've had a few too many. Call me a taxi."

When I got into HS... though I was caution, not nearly enough. I never got in the car with anyone that couldn't walk straight, but just because someone seems to be walking ok doesn't mean that they can drive ok. (had that happen before) and though I may have never been in an accident... I could have been. It wasn't that I didn't understand the dangers. I did... but when you're young a lot of that stuff just doesn't seem real to you. I didn't mind when my friends would speed. Speed with me in the car now you might get an ear full, or be asked to pull over and let me out. LOL... being older helps you to see the reality of some situations (in some cases).

But I guess the bottom line is.... old or young... it doesn't matter. You're always going to have those that don't listen, and those that do. Those that have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way, and those that listen to advice. I guess that just means that those of us with enough understanding need to talk to those that will listen. And those of us with hardheaded children need to PRAY!

But you know... I think self-perception and self-worth have a LOT to do with the choices teens make. (aside from their individual personalities) Maybe that's something we need to focus on in schools, as well as at home.

I just want to add. I don't really buy this stuff about "it's not the schools job". Yes.... all of these things do start in the homes. But obviously most of us aren't getting everything we need at home. It takes a village to raise a child right? That means it's everyone's problem... everyone's responsiblity. If a chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.. what does this say about our communities? What does this say about our nation? What does this say about the future leaders of this country? LOL... about the people that will be responsible for OUR well being in our old age. We all need to take notice and responsibility.

[~~Nikki~~]

if you are uncomfortable talking to your parents about sex then you shouldnt even be thinking about it in the first place....and it goes back to your parents fault again....there is no reason why anyone should be uncomfortable talking about it...sex...its not a hard thing to talk about its a part of life...parents shouldnt make you feel uncomfortable about it, those are your parents, and should be the easiest people to talk to and come to....

[Gravity]

LOL... in the ideal world of course those that aren't ready to talk about it aren't ready to do it. But that's not the rule that these kids out here are going by. They know to use protection, but they're too scared to say something to the other person they're planing on sleeping with.

Some people and some culture teach that it is a very private thing. And of course are very hush hush about it. As... such conversation isn't proper other than to say "WAIT TILL YOU'RE MARRIED". I mean even though my mother was open about somethings, I got my period before I even knew what a period was.

Not everyone's parents are easy to talk to. Some people have strained relationships with their parents. Distant and what have you. Some people's parents aren't really around. Like my best friend... most everything she learned about sex she learned from health class and me. You don't go to your parents and ask them things like that. At least not our parents.... they'd make you feel guilty for asking. "WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" That's an automatic withdrawal from something. A certain friend, a tv show, lol... or maybe a talk with a teacher. And it's not that the parents mean any harm. It's just as parents.... a lot of people don't expect certain talks to come up for a looooooooooooong time. And when they do... they're like =-o!

So yeah... it does have a lot to do with the parents. But the same way some parents can under do it, they can over do it. My cousin and my bestfriend were veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sheltered coming up. My bestfriend is still a virgin, lol... and my cousin was far from one long before she hit 18. Both with very strick relgious families. Both with curfews, not allowed to date, both with restricted music, tv programs, etc. It's not JUST the parents. The parents are only with the children X hours a day. The schools have them the majority of the time. And yeah... maybe it needs to start at home.... but it needs to finish at school. And it goes beyond just sex. It goes into being well informed so that they may make better choices in general. That they have the confidence to say no to certain things, and people.

Our society CANNOT honestly expect that a child who has a parent at home, or that doesn't work long ours to come out the same as a parent that works very long hours (no matter what their income is) and never gets home by 6pm. The fact of the matter is... a lot of our children don't have someone there all the time to even notice when it's time to address certain issues. Some don't even notice that there is or might be an issue (even if the child does bring it up). We live in a fast paced world with very busy adults. Many of them more bullheaded than their children. Yeah... what would be the response one would get from telling some parents how to raise their children (even the ones that aren't around). Just because parents fail their children in certain areas doesn't mean that the schools, and their communities need to as well.

Some just happen to care more than others and are more educated on certain things (or the need for certain things) than others. Yeah.. we need to tell parents to take that time for their kids. Some are simply unable to, some just don't want to. Others just never really thought about. The why isn't really all that important here. The fact is that schools and communities need to pick up where the parents left off.

[ShyLoVe*]

I totally agree with you Jai, you've already said most of what I had to say.

I personally, wish I did keep my legs closed and I bet I would've if I hadn't wanted to "fit in" and be "accepted". My parents always told me to wait until I was married, and so did my Aunty who came over to visit, she told me to wait. I sorta figured why I should wait in my own head, but it wasn't until my friend gave me this book (just last year) that explained why you should wait until marriage, written by this footballer who chose to stay celibate. I'll post a few points I wrote down while reading it, when I get home. The book repeated itself, but it had very valid points.

Sexual activity in any form is too accepted nowadays and I agree, schools should do more to make the teens think about their decisions to conduct sexual activity instead of just telling them about reproduction and protection.

Lunch is over, I'll have to finish later

[Gravity]

Yeah.... I wanted to wait... but it just didn't happen that way. I wouldn't even do anything else because I was afraid if I did it would go futher than it should. A lot of times part of me wished I had waited, but if I had i wouldn't have my little ones. And yeah, I'd probably still be a virgin today. Never married or anything. Why? Because no one since then was even near as special to me as my first was. It's really funny and odd to think about it that way. But it's the truth. LOL... now I'm just thinking about how sad that is. wow lol

[ShyLoVe*]

yeah, me too... if I had waited, I wouldn't have gone through the chain of events that I went through and I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

[n 3 º]

I was waiting til marriage or someone I actually loved. I never even kissed anyone until I got with my current fiancee b/c I viewed kissing something you should do, something you should express with someone you love. But yeah I made sure that we were real and we were together for 10 months, we were extremely close and it just sort of happened, I dont regret it though since we both love one another and we've gotten through tons of things together which we probably wouldnt have been able to do if we didnt show each other how much we loved each other. So she was my everything, first kiss first love etc etc. I knew my old g/fs werent the ones so I never did anything with them except hang out and get to know them more. School, parents or friends werent a big factor on anything I made my own choices and had the will power to do what I wanted. She wasnt a virgin, but she looks at both sides, she's sad b/c she didnt wait and share it with someone special but in a way she's happy b/c he was a fucker and she realized that not all guys are nice and stuff so she watched out for them after that. I think it's retarded little 12 year olds are already doing shit like that, I mean wtf! FroZzy hold me!

[*~Ruthless Ryda~*]

Oh man this is a heavy topic.


I think its not only the parents but everything. Look whats on tv...look what they're listening to...look how barbie is dressed!! C'mon you're going to tell me they don't learn from what they watch or play with??

My little niece even knows that you need a mommy and daddy to make a baby and shes only 3 1/2. My sister is tough on her kids but what can you do honestly what can you do? I mean you can tell them no, tell them this and that...but when you're parents gave you those lectures did you listen? NO!! Why? Because we are ignorant and defiant and think we know anything and everything. We are no better than those kids that are doing things the hard way. All you could do is let them know...be open and talk to them.

I remember over here there was a big argument with the parents because High School wanted to start selling condoms in the restrooms. Ok yes it seems like they're ok'n it to have sex, but at least they are giving them a choice if they do decided to have it. Young girls do it because they figure they're in love and its going to be like one of those disney movies they've watched when they were little ...happily ever after...WRONG!!!

For girls they start having sex either because they assume their in "love" or because they don't get the attention deserved at home and look for it somewhere else. My sister would tell me be smart...our parents weren't the best...and weren't very understanding. It was either their way or the highway. My sister would tell me that because no one was really there to support her, she had to look for it somewhere else which was in boys...which is why she got pregnant.

What I can't stand are those parents (like mine) who say don't get pregnant, go to school, get an steady job...but yet when you need help achieving that goal they tell you to ask someone else. My parents expected us to do everything on our own...they told us if they helped us we would get use to it and expect help later on..and would recieve it because what if they died. Or when my mom found out my sister was pregnant she kicked her out...which made no sense because she got pregnant that very same age. But my moms excuse was because she already moved out of her moms house so w/e.


We try to blame this person or that person but in reality its society that teaches this. And even if your parents tell you right from wrong do we listen? Children just need to be guided and talked to...other than that we just pretty much stand here and watch them fall and wait till they pick themselves back up and realize the last step they made was a wrong and and learn from it.


I can't blame my mom for my mistakes as much as I would like. I did the things I did in the past because I figured I was ready...I regret not waiting but what can you do. I can't change it and can't cry over it because its long gone. I am who I am for what I did and that is what made me a better and stronger person inside. :grin:

[RX King]

I'm not giving my whole life story, cus well no one cares. Would I have waited? Yes. How long? Not till marriage. I don't veiw marriage as the measuring stick for love. I can be in love with someone and not care either way about marriage. It's what you feel for the person thats important, not the relationships "status".

[Gravity]

Yeah, I was all in love when I lost my virginity. And that was the only person I've ever been in love with. And even still, I sometimes I wish I had waited. It wasn't because he wasn't special enough, it was because i guess in my mind I saw us married in 5 years. LOL... no logical reason to. It was just my clouded thinking at the time.

But you know... there is a lot to be said for tough love. I just think it's important that as parents we understand when to exercise it and when not to. And that's not something we can read in any book. It's something that we learn from understanding our children. But... I know a lot of us complain about what our parents didn't do, or what they did do. But looking back... it is what has made me a stronger person. It is what has made me who I am. Granted a lot of it may have been painful (still might be)... but I guess it's in learning to appreciate what was learned from it. And as well.... trying to understand from the parents view point. It's hard to understand how parents could be so uninvolved sometimes. A lot of times it takes becoming a parent to understand a lot of things in a different way. LOL.... not just like all the things your parents told you were right or anything like that. But my parents were rather uninvolved, but over protective in some areas. And... even now, my mom is rather distant. But... I guess now I understand her childhood better, and I can see a lot of the same things in my childhood. And all I can do is try my best not to repeat the pattern. But there's no blame that can be placed on one person alone.... it all comes from somewhere.

[trustinme]

Just tell your kids you'll kill them if they have sex, that should keep them from having sex.

[RX King]

No, they will just do it anyways to spite and rebel against you.

[Gravity]

LOL.... yeah.

Personally I think it all starts with self-image, and self-worth. Whether it's problems at home or someone having problems outside of the home (and maybe not getting proper support from his/her loved ones), I think there needs to be some sort of lesson in values when it comes to the schools.

It would be a touchy subject if certain things were addressed directly (as different families have different beliefs)... but I think a nice well rounded section in being your own person, and all that Mr. Roger's stuff might just do the world a bit of good.

[ShyLoVe*]

^ yeah I agree with the self-image/self-worth thing, I probably wouldn't have let anything happen if I was confident in myself and what I believed in

All I can do now is make sure I don't let it happen to my children and make them aware :)

[Bee]

I did it because i was vulnerable, my pride was hurt, and i needed someone to make me feel better about my self

i got dumped, then lost my virginity to someone i considered a friend

[Kimo]

I think the real problem here is boys tricking girls into love,

then getting some

:cry:

very sad

[Gravity]

Hmmm, that could me part of it. But at the same time that kind of takes us right back to where we started from. Self-imagine. So, I couldn't see that being a real problem without actual image problems to begin with (unless maybe if the girl is very young).

From what I've seen, a lot (but not all) of the guys that are trying to run that kind of game aren't very clever. And I don't think it's so much that most girls don't understand (though a plenty may not), as I think it has more to do with denial. Women (and sometimes men) not wanting to see the truth. Sometimes it's denial, sometimes it's simply that non ever taught them better.

But either way, I do agree it is part of the problem.

(I hope the above made sense. I'm sleepy.)

[ShyLoVe*]

OK, I'm gonna try this again, hopefully explorer won't crash again!

The following are a few points I wrote down from this book I read "Worth the Wait" by Jason Stevens. It basically ties sex with love and why waiting till marriage is important. Marriage is forever (to me anyway with the obvious exceptions) and you wouldn't want to marry someone because the sex was good, you'd want to know that they loved you and you loved them and you'll both be loyal and committed to each other throughout both your lives. You wouldn't want to be married to someone who you find you can't stand, do you? They're all pretty random, I just typed up what I had written :smile: hopefully you guys will remember these points and teach that to your children or young people you know. Not only does it keep the amount of STIs and HIV/AIDS low, it helps them know what love is and that it's easily sought if you keep your clothes on.

>>Pain is more intense if sex has been a part of the relationship

>>Sexual bonds in human relationships were not designed to be broken

>>No matter how tough we are physically, we are all fragile on the inside and susceptible to heartache

>>Sex creates a bond, so you can't just give and take it as you please without hurting yourself and others.

>>Trust within a relationship is established when the people involved show that they can control their urges and emotions. To earn trust, a person must act in a trustworthy manner.

>>If you love someone, you will always be loyal regardless of the cost.

>>Saving sex for marriage is like a law of love. Its aim is to keep us safe, physically and emotionally. It prevents us from hurting and abusing each other.

>>They haven't invented a condom that will protect your self-respect or your heart from being broken.

>>Love is based on a person's character.

>>When I say "I love you", most of the time I mean, "I love me and I want you. I love the feelings that you give me and I want those feelings."

>>Just because someone wants you passionately, does not mean they love you passionately.

>>The true test of love is if the person wants to see you without the promise of sex.

>>Sex may seem a lot like love, but sex and love can be two worlds apart. "I want you" doesn't mean "I want to give you my best". "I need you" isn't the same as "I will be there for you". "You're a babe" doesn't mean "I love you for who you are". "Look how happy we are now" isn't the same as "I'll stick around to make sure you're alright". "It feels good" doesn't mean "I want you to feel good about yourself when it's all over". "I'll be gentle" isn't the same as "I care about your feelings". "It's so good I want it now" isn't the same as "It's so good I'm willing to wait for it".

>>It's popular belief that sexual involvement is necessary for a relationship to have a future and grow stronger.

>>Sex at the wrong time can prevent you from experiencing true love, and destroy what may have been a good relationship.

>>Important to build relationships on a solid base of communication and friendship. Sex at the wrong time can prevent this solid base from developing.

>>Best lovers are best friends who can talk to each other about anything.

>>When you love someone, you are committed to them. But having a sexual relationship with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you are committed to caring for that person.

>>Sex may deeped the emotional attachment between two people. However, many people incorrectly perceive this attachment as an automatic deepening of one's commitment to a relationship.

>>Marriage is not just a piece of paper, it represents a conscious decision to make a relationship a permanent lifetime commitment.

>>Statistics show that couples who live together before marriage have a 60% chance of divorce. People involved in sex before marriage have a 50% higher chance of divorce. 75% of live-in relationships do not end in marriage, they just end.

>>Love always thinks of others; it isn't always 'me first'. Love isn't envious of what it doesn't have, but is happy when others do well. Love lives generously; it gives and doesn't expect a medal in return. Love asks what you would like people to do for you and then grabs the initiative and does it for them. Love overlooks an offence; it doesn't retaliate in a tit for tat way, but lets someone else's worst bring out the best in them. Love doesn't strut around with a swelled head, force itself on others, or fly off the handle. Love doesn't keep score of other's mistakes or rejoice if others fail. Love is patient, it takes pleasure when the truth unfolds, it puts up with a lot, it always looks for the best in others, it never looks back, never gives up, and keeps going until the end. Love never fails.

>>Starting off too quickly and having experiences that affect you emotionally such as sex and telling someone that you love them, creates a false sense of closeness. It gives both people involved the impression that you are more suited to each other than you really are.

[Mista Skelah]

I think schools are doing what they can the government should regulate disease .

For some reason there trying to get sex offenders to wear a braclet in florida why not something like this for people with aids?

The stds and teens thing is not schools fault I used to think it was parents but logicly turn it to mtv during the summer time and see teens licking whip cream off eatchothers stomach and thighs on stage.

Entertainment needs to play a role but overall if people with stds had to register in some form by law we would be getting rid of this problem.

Valtrex commertials should be taken off the air its not ok to have an std u should be as worried as u have aids cause its just as shameful to me.

Also jailtime if its proven that u have an std and u give it to an unknowing party. <that might already be a law but its not enforced.

The internet is the biggest problem for teens and sex just look at this board for instance.
They need some add campains for people to understand u can play pretend online all u like but the same laws and rules apply to real life.

Overall kids under 18 probly shodulnt even go online think about it if they cant see an r rated movie legaly why the fuck can they have xxx content at there fingertips as soon as they can read and type?

[Mista Skelah]

I think schools are doing what they can the government should regulate disease .

For some reason there trying to get sex offenders to wear a braclet in florida why not something like this for people with aids?

The stds and teens thing is not schools fault I used to think it was parents but logicly turn it to mtv during the summer time and see teens licking whip cream off eatchothers stomach and thighs on stage.

Entertainment needs to play a role but overall if people with stds had to register in some form by law we would be getting rid of this problem.

Valtrex commertials should be taken off the air its not ok to have an std u should be as worried as u have aids cause its just as shameful to me.

Also jailtime if its proven that u have an std and u give it to an unknowing party. <that might already be a law but its not enforced.

The internet is the biggest problem for teens and sex just look at this board for instance.
They need some add campains for people to understand u can play pretend online all u like but the same laws and rules apply to real life.

Overall kids under 18 probly shodulnt even go online think about it if they cant see an r rated movie legaly why the fuck can they have xxx content at there fingertips as soon as they can read and type?

btw saving sex for marrige seems stupid to me most females ive spoken to throughout my life that were virgins become sluts if they wait longer its like there holding themself back then they let go all at once.

So I realy dont belive in that it has to be a ballance not to young but not to old.

[Gravity]

You know what. I have to agree in part with what you said about people with aids and bracelets. I think if people really wanted to get a hold on this and the spread of it there is more that could be done.

But I will also say that there are some good reasons for not giving infected people a bracelet to wear. For one, not everyone that has it knows that they have it. It doesn't always show up right way when someone gets it. Someone might think they don't have it because they were tested once, but don't test themselves again later down the road. And then later they might find out after they've gotten sick or something with symptoms. Also, people might think "oh he doesn't have a bracelet, his not infected." And of course that's not always going to be true. Sure I know that some people would have better sense than that. But there are those that would try to use such logic.

And lastly there are issues of discrimination. Not only might it be shameful and hard for some people to walk around with something like that. But it might also cause problems with employment and all sorts of things. In this country people have a right to privacy when it comes to their medical records.

Though I think something needs to be done about that in part. More than anything, I think they should make STD testing a requirement once a year or something.

[Miles Thirst]

In the workplace?

[shanebone]

people are just tring to be cool with there friends, its very sad what people have to do to try to brag to everybody!

[StixnStonz]

^^ my current gf did that shit. told everyone she had sex back in 5th grade and shit just to sound cool to her friends and out-do them.

but i have proof she was lying and she has told me and shit. we lost our virginity together last year (i was 17, her 15).

teens and sex is bound to happen. parents should talk to their kids, the school should be open-minded and realize kids are going to fuck regardless of who or what tells them not to. music, movies, and friends are the biggest influences and when it comes down to it, it's a reflection of the person's morals and resistance of temptation.

if a guy is alone with a girl he is gonna fuck her or at least be trying to. women watch out.

my gf and i just had an accident and now i'm trying to get emergency contraceptive and it's a bitch dealing with planned parenthood, so just remember there's always options to everything you do and there's always consquences.