Marriage

[ShyLoVe*]

When you hear the word marriage, what do you think of?

How important/unimportant is it to you and why?

What do you think of people who marry so young and people who marry later because of careers?

Before you and your partner married, knowing that statistics show that defacto relationships usually end up in divorce or separation even before a wedding, would you live with your partner before marriage?

[da og blazed]

marriage is a way for society to keep humans in order

[KrayzieRoach]

1.bond between a man and woman.
2.It should be very important because it is the right thing to do if you really love this person and spend the rest of your life with him/her and want to have kids with.
3.People who marry young usually have kids b4 they get married so people wont think the child was an "accident" and people who marry at a later age should be proud of themselves,because they took their time.
4.I have no idead what DEFACTO RELATIONSHIPS ARE :shock: and yeah i would live with my partner before marriage.

[ShyLoVe*]

I didn't want you guys to just answer the questions, I actually want paragraphs - a discussion.

the third question, some people get a career first (eg. lawyer, doctor, whatever) THEN get married later than usual... like, I dunno, mid 30s (to me that's later)

a de facto relationship is when you live with your partner but you two aren't legally/officially married

[da og blazed]

i believe in mexican marriages....go downtown and get married by the judge because your woman has your 2 year old son/daughter and then throw a huge party that same night and invite all your family...tios,tias, primos, sobrinos, abuelos...everybody. everyone gets drunk and then there is a huge fight at the end

[Bee]

I think marriage is captivity.

[KrayzieRoach]

^^^thats the pre-nuptual agreement,she signs it and if yall get divorced,she doesnt get shit :) :) :),but if you ask her to sign it,she might think yall marriage wont last

[RX King]

The words marriage? I get all nervous=/ cus marriage is kinda a scary thing, Not that it's a bad thing, justa HUGE change. It's like you have to think about another person instead of just yourself, everything is a two way street in marriage, you can't just do whatever you want all the time, You have to go over things with who your with you know. Marriage is important, BUT I don't need a peice of paper and a liscence to tell me I love this person and I want them in my life for good. Marry whenever you're ready, if you have a carrear planned out then it's cool to wait, if you can't wait and want to get married tomarrow then do it. Marriages end before they start becuase people today want things how they want them right then and there, alot of couples don't comprimise and it's usually one person making all the choices about the relationship, and the other person is passive about it. and it seems to me like alot of the time people marry or get engaged to the wrong person for them, like they move to fast, fall head over heels and then end up hating the same person a year or two later. Living with someone before being married is the easiet way to see if the marriage is going to seriously work, atleast in my mind, you get to find out your partners weird little habbits and you're basically with them all the time, if you don't want to kill them then you're married will most likely work out.

[Bee]

Sadly enough, I think Im too selfish to ever get married

[Floppy]

marriage is one of strangest ideas EVER



*shutters

[200 OK]

marriage is not important to me. i don't think i will never get married. i want to have kids and a wife, just live together with them, do everything that a husband and wife does, just not married. in today's world most marriages don't last very long anyway. i actually have no idea why people get married. if you wanna live with someone all your life, it doesn't mean you have to be married with them in order to do so. if you have a partner who loves you and cares about you, that's all you need. a marriage is not gonna make the relationship better or make your partner to love you more and vice versa. i feel like marriage is more of a tradition than anything else.

[Bee]

marriage is not important to me. i don't think i will never get married. i want to have kids and a wife, just live together with them, do everything that a husband and wife does, just not married. in today's world most marriages don't last very long anyway. i actually have no idea why people get married. if you wanna live with someone all your life, it doesn't mean you have to be married with them in order to do so. if you have a partner who loves you and cares about you, that's all you need. a marriage is not gonna make the relationship better or make your partner to love you more and vice versa. i feel like marriage is more of a tradition than anything else.

i feel you on that

[ShyLoVe*]

Sadly enough, I think Im too selfish to ever get married
you're still young. life's lessons will teach you to be more selfless :)

[Luv]

Getting married is more of a religion type thing...its said in the bible male and female should marry if they plan to live together or have sex..if your doing those things with out being married...you living in sin..(dont quote me on that but it is in there)

in california theres a thing called Common law..where if your with a dude for more then 5 years i think it is..and have a kid or what ever...your like married...even if there isnt a kid envolved..your still common law married..still get the benifits as if you were married..

i dont think i would get married...like someone said its just a piece of paper and everyone in your business..plus i dont like to feel locked down...or controled...

[Mista Skelah]

I think that the idea of being married has been destoryed for teens due to the entertainment industry.

Entertainment industry made it ok to be overly divorced people grow up seeing this and slowly society as a whole follows now its common for everyone to be divorced.
I guess all those people are ok with being sheep what hapend to rebelling and promising urself to be diferent from ur parents? Kids now brag about never wanting to get married cause mommy and daddy split up.

The idea of being married is a great one for those that can see it but we no longer have any good examples of how to do it the right way with the right people.

So mistakes are made ...all these paths are the cause of the rich and slutty.
People that marry there freinds seem to be the lucky ones that always work out ...and swingers. :shock:

[K.Battlezone]

lmao @ swingers

The concept of marriage is a strange one. I think the common law marriage deal is after a year or two here in texas. I agree with whoever said that the best thing to do is move together first to see if it would work out. I don't think I'll ever get married myself. Marriage is too much. If anything.. I think I'd like to live with whoever I was with for at least 4-5 years before marriage came up. That way I knew what I was getting myself into. As far as careers go, I don't think money is the foundation of a marriage or a relationship it just helps it a bit. If you both got the money and no communication of any sort and no love where's the relationship. You can have communication and love and the relationship can keep going .. that is if its real. You can both work on the money situation slowly but surely and when you get there it will be worth it seeing as how you did it together. Is marriage important to me .. sure why not.. JUST NOT NOW.

[$kitzah]

well sum get married so they can have kids so they can molest them

[Gambinos Wrath]

Well, I plan on getting married, having a family etc, I want to have kids, I want them to meet there grandparents, I want to have those BBQ's with your family, I want to be able to talk about experiences with my dad, about married life, and I feel like being married is a commitment, like you all tlak about not wanting to be locked down or this and that, that its a bit of paper, its more then that, until your married, there is still the chance that you will cheat, that your not totally committed, I may have fucked up in the past, but when I get married, I will be totally committed to the person. I think the idea of having someone to wake up to is nice, I love my privacy, and I do need Bino time, time for myself, but I also spending time with my best friend, and in my opinion your best friend should be your partner in marriage. I dont think there is a point in getting married if you dont love the person(if ur serious about the relationship) I have been with Shy for around 5 years now, and if im with her for another 3-4 we will be getting married, as I feel by then I am ready, as I want to start a family while im still young, plus that is a good 7-8 years we will have been with each other, and I feel long enough to know if it will work or not.

[Rõ££–X]

now a days marriage is a joke to a lotta people. i mean you have drive thru wedding chapels and 5 mins. weddings and shyt lol.

in my opinion, marriage can be the greatest thing ever if planned out right. like being 2gether for 5 years or more, at least living together for 2 years in your relationship, gettin use to your spouses bad habits and the way they are, being able to share EVERYTHING in your relationship, etc. so many marriages end in divorce cause of people jumping into it too damn fast. and if either one has a carer, i think they should live 2gether during that process and see if they could really handle that kinda shyt, cause playin the background to a career is a much of a commitment as marriage is, you feel me.

everybody once in their lives have thought about gettin married. some people, myself included, think of marriage as a "ball and chain." after so long, you get tired of messin with different females and doin the same shyt every night or some just have a spiritual connection with one male/female they are involved with.

but to sum up everything, marriage can mean different things to different people.some are built for it and some aren't. me personally i wanna get married, but i dunno when cause i never had that certain "connection" yet with any of ma female friends. that's how i feel about that situation.

*damn, that was long lol*

~X~

[ShyLoVe*]

Gambino, I've taught you well :)

Seriously, I remember a time when you used to say "it's just a piece of paper" and didn't care so much about it, but it's really surprising and lovely to read how you feel about it now :smile:

And baby, it's 4 years :P

DON'T EDIT MY POST AGAIN YOU STOOGE!

[Gravity]

When you hear the word marriage, what do you think of?

How important/unimportant is it to you and why?

What do you think of people who marry so young and people who marry later because of careers?

Before you and your partner married, knowing that statistics show that defacto relationships usually end up in divorce or separation even before a wedding, would you live with your partner before marriage?

Well... the stats I've seen stated most live in relationships don't end in marrage. I believe they stated less than 50% but I can't remember the number.

Anyways, I think the most important part of marriage is having the same base. Personally, with me being a spiritual person, that base would have to be spiritual. It strengthes things more than we seem to realize. LOL... so I'd say... marriage counseling. It's something that's not only offered by private practice, but also something that some churches have. There are actually some that require it before they will even marry a couple.

And of course, a fairly long engagement. Not too long, but long enough to get passed the high of simply being engaged, and enough time to go over in more details you plans, hopes, dreams, ideals, etc etc. And of course, it's yet even more time to get to know the person.

The fact of the matter is... there are couples that dated for 5 years, got married, and only lasted 10 more years. And there are couples that got married after 3 months of dating and stayed together for 30+ years. I think the key is not only communication and understanding one another, but having two individuals that both feel that divorce is not an option and I'm in this for the long run.

As well... a lot of people feel that if they get married they can change the person. Some people also date someone for 10 years (live with them) them marry them, and after some time trying to force marriage.

I guess a lot of it is our society needs to change the way we think about marriage.

As far as early or late in a career, unless it's something like school, I don't think it really matters unless you're planning to have children right away. I think a lot of times we try to hold things off to the "right time", when there may never be a "right time". Meaning.... we seem to expect that after a certain situation passes everything will be smooth sailing. But life is full of ups and downs, stuggles, busy times, and boring times. I don't think that's any reason to hold off on a marriage. Who's to say that 3 years from now you're going to be any less busy than you are right now? IMO, that's just an excuse. We always find time for the things we want to make time for.

The only reasons I think people should wait would have to be age/maturity and possible just getting out of a relationship with someone else.

But I've been down that road, and I've learned from the mistakes on both sides. And hopefully when/if I do get married again I won't be making those same mistakes. :)

[The Great One]

Hmm marriage........well the word that comes to my mind is commitment when I think of marriage. I think marriage is something that should only be entered if you are 99.999% sure that your going to end up with that person for the rest of your life. I think thats why most marriages fail.....because they are rushed into.

Even if your crazy about the other person and you know they feel the same way about you.....marriage can be very scary to think about because you know thats gonna be the person you wake up with everyday for the rest of your life. I think thats why its a good idea to live with the person before marriage. No matter how much you know about a person and love someone, you need to know if you can live with that person on a day to day basis.

I dont think age matters all that much.....i think its marriages fail or succeed based upon how much you know about the other person. For some people that can be a couple of months.....for some years. I know ppl that married after a couple of months and it worked and ive known ppl that wait years and its worked. Thats another good thing about living with the person. I think it speeds up this process. After living with someone you should have a good idea about wether or not this is where you want to be for the rest of your life.

Im not sure that made much sense but yeah thats what i think about marriage